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| spider | Chaos Reigns Within, Reflect, Repent, and Reboot, Order shall return | | |
| MazY | Of course I don't look busy - I did it right the first time! | | |
| MazY | Damn, I can't think of a quote! | | |
| DiZZiD | Matt and MazY are the best ! :) | | |
| neptunium | Do you feel that aerobics is a sport - a SPECTATOR sport? | | |
| Matt | El Niño is Spanish for "The Niño" | | |
| neptunium | Never put people or animals in a locked vehicle for any length of time. | | |
| neptunium | NASCAR: North American Society for the Creation of Alcoholic Rednecks | | |
| neptunium | Do you feel that it's just not a bonfire unless it can be seen... FROM SPACE? | | |
| joshuahsu | Where there is a will, there is a way. | | |
| neptunium | Where there is a will, there are greedy, worthless relatives! | | |
| bryte | "If you see a fire stop drop and roll" | | |
| eztune | If you over design, only the molecules know the difference. If you under design, the whole world will know the difference | | |
| Abelius | What sons try to remember, fathers try to forget... | | |
| neptunium | Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you something to cry about, you little whiner! | | |
| neptunium | You must sign a waiver before eating my spicy chili! | | |
| beso | ქართულის გამოცდა 'მეგა-ბი-ბი-ეს'-ზე | | |
| neptunium | If you see a fire, grab some marshmallows and long sticks! | | |
| Zenderfal | I'm bored with life. Time to buy a new one. | | |
| neptunium | Pokensasha Sez: You're addicted when you were the latest poster in all the forums! | | |
| milosz | _/) _/) Sail Fast, Watch for Sharks _/) _/) | | |
| Abelius | Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. | | |
| Abelius | Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things. | | |
| neptunium | Hot damn on buttered bread, Matt! You kick ass! | | |
| matt | There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't | | |
| matt | Proofread your posts carefully to see if you any words out | | |
| Chad | I want credit for my witty quotes! | | |
| Chad | All the happiness in the world won't make you rich! | | |
| Chad | Eat at Joe's | | |
| Chad | Halflings UNTIE! (halfling call to arms lol) | | |
| MazY | I'm always too busy to finish what I..... | | |
| pixelboy | You know the rules.There are no rules... | | |
| Chad | MazY has a google.com fetish | | |
| Chad | Matt likes his leftover Turkey cold with tobasco sauce | | |
| Chad | dude speak friggin English wtf? (Skater Gnome) | | |
| Chad | Welcome to Wackyville - Matt | | |
| Chad | Enough of this Tomfoolery - Matt | | |
| Chad | Random quote : Random quote : Random quote : | | |
| Matt | The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. | | |
| Carnster | ...Dam Women... I would be gay if the thoughts of it didn't make me sick! | | |
| Chad | There is no spoon. | | |
| Chad | Dude! What's mine say? | | |
| Chad | Sweet! What's mine say!? | | |
| Lofty | There is a better world.......But it's dam expensive | | |
| Lofty | The trouble with growing up is...you cant run around naked as much | | |
| recedo | bahhhhh | | |
| Chad | I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it. I'm about to loose control and I think I like it. | | |
| spyder | Bleh.... | | |
| Chad | Just because I have ADHD doesn't mean-oh cool, where's this link go to? | | |
| Chad | OMG they killed Kenny! | | |
| Chad | TIMMMYYYYY! | | |
| Chad | Greetings Starfighter. You have been selected by.... | | |
| Chad | There can be only one. But there can be 3.5 sequels. | | |
| slacker | Life is short, SLACK OFF !!! | | |
| spyder | Hiding one's head in the sand only leaves the posterior prone to a boot | | |
| Lofty | DUDE, you just Malvined Death! | | |
| Lofty | Quick Release the Mongoose! | | |
| eztune | Better to have a bird in the hand, than to have one overhead. | | |
| neptunium | ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! | | |
| neptunium | SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB! | | |
| spider | Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak | | |
| Marler | The woman is mobile and I feel myself to mobiliere | | |
| James | Even a fool seems wise when he keeps his mouth shut! | | |
| fsailor | Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever. 'Mahatma Ghandi' | | |
| mutiny | Rule #1 - Never change the deal | | |
| mutiny | Rule #2 - No names | | |
| mutiny | Rule #3 - Never open the package | | |
| AndyStewart | Never argue with an idiot - they'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience... | | |
| duh | "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) | | |
| duh | "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) | | |
| duh | "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." (Albert Einstein) | | |
| duh | "Would you call that a design problem or a launch problem?" --the movie Real Genius | | |
| duh | A Runtime error has occurred. Do you wish to debug? | | |
| duh | I am not a merry man! | | |
| duh | "It's not safe out here! It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid." -- "Q" | | |
| duh | Nobody taught me how to do this stuff. Figure it out yourself. You won't break anything...probably. | | |
| duh | I love mankind. It's people I can't stand. | | |
| duh | "I hate the living." --L, MIB | | |
| duh | Aging is better than the alternative. | | |
| duh | Something wonderful is going to happen. | | |
| duh | Let's surf the probability waves. | | |
| duh | probability waves back | | |
| duh | We didn't get much done today, but we'll give 'em hell tomorrow. | | |
| CanukKev | Sure blame me. It wasn't my fault. How was I supposed to know you poured gas on the floor? Sheeeeesh, I mean, I have to throw my matches somewhere.... | | |
| CanukKev | I used to be a necrophiliac, but then I got a divorce. | | |
| CanukKev | I wish i was Parker Bros. Inc. Then, I'd have a clue. | | |
| dcooper | No matter where you go there you are. | | |
| AndyStewart | Your lucky color has faded. | | |
| AndyStewart | You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd. | | |
| AndyStewart | Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. (Snoopy) | | |
| AndyStewart | The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group. | | |
| AndyStewart | If you cannot convince them, confuse them. | | |
| AndyStewart | "Kirk to Enterprise -- beam down yeoman Rand and a six-pack." | | |
| CanukKev | Okay, I admit it... JARREK RULES... I DROOL..... | | |
| Chad | People Suck | | |
| bconley | Indecision may or may not be my problem. | | |
| necro97 | La religión es el opio de todos los pueblos, K.Marx | | |
| danruiid | Normalcy is a fallacy propagated by the insecure. | | |
| lawsy | Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup ? | | |
| lawsy | Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? | | |
| lawsy | If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong ? | | |
| lawsy | If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? | | |
| lawsy | If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ? | | |
| lawsy | Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?? | | |
| lawsy | What do you call male ballerinas? | | |
| lawsy | Is French kissing in France just called kissing? | | |
| lawsy | Why does mineral ! water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries'have a 'use by' date? | | |
| lawsy | If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit? | | |
| karmic | There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. | | |
| hey | Trust GOD! | | |
| karmic | All you need is love - Queen Elquein | | |
| karmic | Always choose your friends among your enemies, and you'll be magnanimous and invincible. | | |
| noize | Rehab is for quitters and quitters never win! | | |
| TheOx | You don't need brains to be a genius | | |
| Maurynna | Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. | | |
| Maurynna | I see dumb people. They're everywhere. They don't even know that they're dumb. | | |
| Afterdark | Speak softly and carry a big stick | | |
| James | Time's fun when you're having flies! | | |
| James | "Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!" ~ The Treasure of The Sierra Madre, 1948 | | |
| AndyStewart | PC Support is governed by the 3 R's - Reboot, Reimage, Replace... | | |
| Born2Lead | There is more to life than having everything ! | | |
| Born2Lead | Trust GOD ! Good Offline Dude. | | |
| Born2Lead | SOAP : Simple Object Access Protocol (See Other Astonished Programmer) | | |
| zippy | The noob within will always haunt you. | | |
| gLue | If you knew everything you would actually know nothing because there wouldn’t be anything to know! | | |
| Hulagrrl | Marriage is like a glass house crying out for a brick. | | |
| Chad | Where do you people COME FROM!? | | |
| Chad | MOD: Immortality | | |
| Chad | MOD: MOD: MOD: I can't stop | | |
| Manqso | :: Running away :: I didnt do it ... I didnt do it ... | | |
| pmontoyach | Las cosas no cambian: cambiamos nosotros. | | |
| karmic | A friend with weed is a friend indeed. | | |
| AndyStewart | If at 1st you don't succeed, give up - no sense being a damn fool all your life... | | |
| karmic | Believing that God exists is one thing; believing in him is something totally different. | | |
| wrkalot | Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps | | |
| darkman424 | "Hell, rising from a thousand thrones Shall do it reverence." - *Edgar Allen Poe* The City In the Sea, IV ll.11-12 | | |
| James | ~ R T F M ~ | | |
| Jerry | A general protection fault has caused a fatal error. Dumping physical memory to disc. | | |
| technopagan | wherever you go ... there you are! | | |
| Dan DaMan | Expect a Miracle! | | |
| Matt | The odds of this quote ever appearing are about 1 in 5000 -- YOU ARE THE LUCKY WINNER!! | | |
| karmic | Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script. | | |
| karmic | The world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum. | | |
| abzorba | Never trust a man left alone with a tea cosy who doesn't try it on | | |
| Manqso | Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses ... Damn, them are plastic too | | |
| Manqso | Take one for the team ... | | |
| James | Where are we going? And why am I in this handbasket? | | |
| drewm1 | Don't eat yellow snow | | |
| Colin Harban | Keyboard Error: cf00ff: No Keyboard found....Press F1 to Resume | | |
| Trubadurix | Du ska itte trø i graset, spee spira lyt få stå.. | | |
| spider | 60% of all statistics are made up on the spot | | |
| SamEdney | "Avoid employing unlucky people. Throw half the CV's away before you even look at them" - David Brent, The Office BBC2 | | |
| SamEdney | Do androids dream of electric sheep? | | |
| SamEdney | Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. | | |
| SamEdney | Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator | | |
| SamEdney | Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl | | |
| SamEdney | Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. | | |
| SamEdney | You never ever run out of salt. | | |
| SamEdney | You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. | | |
| SamEdney | Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. | | |
| Drone | No Matter Where You Go, There You Are... | | |
| SamEdney | If there's one thing everyone should do it their lives its | | |
| virtualabyss | All We Are Is Dust In The Wind | | |
| Drone | If hot air rises, why are the mountains so cold :) | | |
| Drone | The spoon does not bend | | |
| Drone | what's in a name....letters I believe | | |
| Drone | These are my cheezy puffs!!! | | |
| Drone | Bad Kitty, Bad Kitty!! | | |
| Drone | I should have stayed in bed :( | | |
| MrBester | Mutate now and beat the rush | | |
| MrBester | Beware of Greeks bearing gifts^W^W^WTrojans, they're stupid | | |
| MrBester | Remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green day | | |
| MrBester | Funny is in the eye of the beholder | | |
| MrBester | If our brains were simple enough for us to understand, we'd be so simple we couldn't | | |
| thusarik | "Donuts, Is there anything they CAN'T do?"--Homer Simpson | | |
| WS1O | When it comes to timing, comedy is everything | | |
| WS1O | If it wasn't for time, everything would happen at once | | |
| WS1O | I can't wait for Hell to freeze over, because I'm going to have TONS of dates! | | |
| Puppetmaster 2.1 | I'm not perfect cause i'm humble. | | |
| Colin Harban | I wouldn't be a member of any forum that would except someone like me as a member! | | |
| PlanetContra | HE'S A CACA POO POO | | |
| fireball | TTP? Oh it stands for "The TTP Project" | | |
| festivista97 | What should not happen WILL happen in the worst possible moment. This is Murphy's Law. But what about the law itself ? | | |
| karmic | I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar. Then I'd have all my money back. | | |
| Liu | Quanto altius ascendit homo, lapsus tanto altius cadit | | |
| Liu | Vitium impotens virtus vocatur | | |
| Liu | Gaudeamus igitur, iuvenes dum sumus | | |
| Liu | Rem tene, verba sequentur | | |
| jleigh | If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. | | |
| jleigh | If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit? | | |
| Col.G | There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.- Frank Zappa | | |
| MeasuringSpoon | "A man can be destroyed but not defeated." Ernest Hemingway | | |
| Shawn | "Do...or do not, there is no 'try'" - Yoda | | |
| Shawn | Save a cow. Eat a vegetarian! | | |
| Shawn | That's not a Bug, it's a Feature!! | | |
| Shawn | Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive! | | |
| Shawn | Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up. | | |
| Shawn | Assumption is the mother of all screwups | | |
| Shawn | To err is human. To really screw up it takes a computer | | |
| Shawn | MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile | | |
| Shawn | Where am I and what am I doing in this handbasket? | | |
| Shawn | Yes, but you're taking the universe out of context... | | |
| Shawn | Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. | | |
| Shawn | Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you. | | |
| Shawn | Illiterate? Write for FREE HELP! | | |
| Shawn | Debugging=removing bugs. Programming=putting them in. | | |
| Shawn | Do not disturb. I'm disturbed quite enough already. | | |
| Shawn | A feature is a bug with seniority. | | |
| Shawn | Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps. | | |
| Shawn | Don't you dare cloud my opinions with facts! | | |
| Shawn | Now back to my evil money-grabbing agenda... | | |
| Shawn | I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid you're just a mirage. | | |
| Shawn | Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. | | |
| Shawn | Tact, (n): The unsaid part of what you are thinking | | |
| Shawn | History repeats itself because nobody listens. | | |
| Shawn | Screw the Prime Directive... give the Borg a copy of Windows! | | |
| Shawn | Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion? | | |
| Shawn | Age and Treachery will always overcome Youth and Skill | | |
| Shawn | Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload. | | |
| Shawn | Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. | | |
| Shawn | If at first you do succeed, hide your astonishment. | | |
| Shawn | All's fair in love, war, and statistics! | | |
| Shawn | Famous last words - "Double dare me!" | | |
| Shawn | Famous last words - "What does this button do?" | | |
| Shawn | Famous last words - "What duck?" | | |
| Shawn | There is no 'patch' for stupidity. | | |
| Shawn | For Sys Admins paranoia isn't a mental health problem, its a marketable job skill. | | |
| Shawn | In God we Trust - all others must submit an X.509 certificate. -- Charles Forsythe <forsythe@alum.mit.edu> | | |
| Shawn | Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless. | | |
| Shawn | Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop. | | |
| Shawn | "I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last the year." -- Chief Business Editor, Prentice Hall, 1957 | | |
| Shawn | "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 | | |
| Shawn | "Computers in the future may weigh no more than one-and-a-half tonnes." -- Popular Mechanics, 1949 | | |
| Shawn | "There is no reason anyone in the right state of mind will want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, President of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977 | | |
| Shawn | God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man. | | |
| Shawn | At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. | | |
| Shawn | Hardware, n.: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. | | |
| Shawn | BUG, n.: An undesirable, poorly-understood undocumented feature. | | |
| Shawn | "User n.: A programmer who will believe anything you tell him." -- The Devil's Dictionary to Computer Studies | | |
| Shawn | "Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations." -- Murphy's Law of Line Printers | | |
| Shawn | The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it. | | |
| Shawn | During the next two hours, the network will be going up and down several times, often with lin~po_~{po~poz~ppo\~{ o n~po_ ~{o[po~y oods | | |
| Shawn | Information Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require. | | |
| Shawn | Real Time, adj.: Here and now, as opposed to fake time, which only occurs there and then. | | |
| Shawn | "Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle." -- Steinbach's Guideline for Systems Programming | | |
| Shawn | "If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong." -- Norm Schryer | | |
| Shawn | Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction - from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work. | | |
| Shawn | "Linux is not portable." -- Linus Torvalds | | |
| Shawn | "Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats." -- Howard Aiken, IBM engineer | | |
| Shawn | I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -- Mark Twain | | |
| Shawn | Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. -- Plato | | |
| Shawn | "Who controls the past controls the future." -- George Orwell in his book, "1984" | | |
| Shawn | "Where the press is free, and every man able to read, all is safe." -- Thomas Jefferson | | |
| Shawn | Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. -- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) | | |
| Shawn | Warning: The most valuable item on this property is loaded, and has no trigger lock. | | |
| Shawn | "Resistance to tyrants is obedience to God." -- Thomas Jefferson | | |
| Shawn | Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. -- William Pitt (1759-1806) | | |
| Shawn | Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools. -- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) | | |
| Shawn | We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. -- Aesop (~550 BC) | | |
| Shawn | "To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions." -- Benjamin Franklin | | |
| Shawn | Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it. | | |
| Shawn | When you hold out your hands for government money, the clinking you hear is the shackles being snapped onto your wrists. | | |
| Shawn | "If we were directed from Washington when to sow and when to reap, we should all want bread." -- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) | | |
| Shawn | "One man with courage is a majority." -- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) | | |
| Shawn | "Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun." -- Mao Tse-Tung (1893-1976) | | |
| Shawn | "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." -- Lord Acton (1834-1902) | | |
| Shawn | Pro is to con as progress is to congress. | | |
| Shawn | "The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." -- Tacitus (A.D. 55?-130?) | | |
| Shawn | "I cannot believe that war is the best solution. No one won the last war and no one will win the next." -- Eleanor Roosevelt | | |
| Shawn | "When we assumed the Soldier, we did not lay aside the Citizen." -- General George Washington | | |
| Shawn | "Government corruption is always reported in the past tense." -- The Watergate Principle | | |
| Shawn | The burden of proof is not satisfied by a lack of evidence to the contrary. | | |
| Shawn | "It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself." -- Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782 | | |
| Shawn | "People separated from their history are easily persuaded." -- Karl Marx | | |
| Shawn | "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong." -- Voltaire | | |
| Shawn | "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." -- Albert Einstein | | |
| Shawn | No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming. -- Outside A Muffler Shop | | |
| Shawn | "You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything -- even poverty -- you can survive it." -- Bill Cosby | | |
| Shawn | Children have more need of models, than of critics. | | |
| Shawn | "Success is the sum of detail." -- Harvey S. Firestone | | |
| Shawn | "We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." -- Plato | | |
| Shawn | "I hate quotations." -- Emerson | | |
| Shawn | "Life is a tragedy in close shot, and a comedy in long shot." -- Charlie Chaplin | | |
| Shawn | "Who shall decide when doctors disagree?" -- Alexander Pope | | |
| Shawn | "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." -- Mark Twain | | |
| Shawn | Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something. | | |
| Shawn | "Sincerity. I could fake that." - Hawkeye (MASH) | | |
| Shawn | "Definition of courage: 'Grace under pressure.'" -- Ernest Hemingway | | |
| Shawn | To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle. -- George Orwell | | |
| Shawn | "Integrity has no need of rules." -- Albert Camus | | |
| Shawn | "Guess if you can, choose if you dare." -- Pierre Corneille | | |
| Shawn | If you can look into the mirror without laughter, you have no sense of humor. | | |
| Shawn | "A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men." -- Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory | | |
| Shawn | "Love truth, and pardon error." -- Voltaire | | |
| Shawn | "If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again." -- Calvin and Hobbes | | |
| Shawn | "If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance." -- George Bernard Shaw | | |
| Shawn | "I've had my share of dirty underwear on the floor." -- Martha Stewart | | |
| Shawn | "No matter how much you nurse a grudge, it won't get better." -- Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching | | |
| Shawn | "Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist." -- Harrison Ford, as Indiana Jones | | |
| Shawn | "If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith." -- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) | | |
| Shawn | "The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers." -- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) | | |
| Shawn | "Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from a friend's forehead." -- Chinese Proverb | | |
| Shawn | Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something. -- Thomas A. Edison | | |
| Shawn | "You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was." -- Irish Proverb | | |
| Shawn | Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. | | |
| Shawn | "If you have to be in a soap opera try not to get the worst role." -- Boy George | | |
| Shawn | "Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." -- Will Rogers | | |
| Shawn | "Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun." -- Matt Groening | | |
| Shawn | "I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back." -- Henny Youngman | | |
| Shawn | "By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher." -- Socrates (470-399 B.C.) | | |
| Shawn | "First secure an independent income, then practice virtue." -- Greek Proverb | | |
| Shawn | "Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine." -- Robert C. Gallagher | | |
| Shawn | "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." -- Chinese proverb | | |
| Shawn | "Some people will believe anything if you whisper it to them." -- Louis B. Nizer | | |
| Shawn | "A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." -- George Bernard Shaw | | |
| Shawn | "Make things simple, not simpler." -- Erasmus | | |
| Shawn | "I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." -- Isaac Asimov | | |
| Shawn | Genuine Wisdom is knowing what you are talking about but deciding to keep your mouth shut. | | |
| Shawn | The best time to miss a train is at a crossing. | | |
| Shawn | "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result" -- Albert Einstein | | |
| Shawn | "Only in American banks can you find the pens chained to the counter and the doors wide open." -- Branden Kerr | | |
| Shawn | "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) | | |
| Shawn | "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." -- Sigmund Freud | | |
| Shawn | "The victor will never be asked if he told the truth." -- Adolf Hitler | | |
| Shawn | Of the three, being high quality, reasonable cost, and quick speed, you can have only 2. | | |
| Shawn | "The only secure computer is one that's unplugged, locked in a safe, and buried 20 feet under the ground in a secret location... and i'm not even too sure about that one." -- Dennis Huges, FBI | | |
| Shawn | "For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three." -- Alice Kahn | | |
| Shawn | "I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them." -- Isaac Asimov | | |
| Shawn | "Anybody remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another." -- Doctor Who | | |
| Shawn | “There is not one wise man in twenty that will praise himself.“ -- William Shakespeare | | |
| Shawn | "...although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were..." -- Winnie the Pooh | | |
| Shawn | "Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it" -- Santayana | | |
| Shawn | “The time has come,” the Walrus said, “To talk of many things: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.” -- Lewis Carroll | | |
| - Gaz - | "Before mocking someone, walk a mile in their shoes - that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes when you do eventually mock them." | | |
| - Gaz - | "640K of RAM should be just about enough for anyone" -- Bill Gates | | |
| karmic | TLA? That's a Three-Letter Acronym | | |
| Jimmy | LXIX ~ When in Rome, do as the Romans do ~ | | |
| Jimmy | They say procrastination is the reason for my sorrow / I don't know what that big word means, I'll look it up tomorrow | | |
| RazorFish | Why is there always sooo much month left at the end of the money? | | |
| karmic | Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. -- Law of Differentiated Gravitation | | |
| karmic | In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way. -- Law of Sonic Amplification | | |
| karmic | Everything explodes. Everything. -- The Law of Inherent Combustibility | | |
| karmic | Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds. -- Law of Phlogistatic Emission | | |
| karmic | People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle. -- Law of Inconsequential Undetectability | | |
| karmic | All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason. -- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism | | |
| karmic | The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced. -- Law of Nominative Clamovocation | | |
| Blair | I Wasn't Shouting At You...... It Was My Monkey! | | |
| Blair | Money Can't Buy You Friends, But You Do Get A Better Class Of Enemy | | |
| Blair | 'Madam, I Am Drunk, You Are Fat And Ugly. Tomorrow I Will Be Sober.' - Winston Churchill, responding to a woman at a party. | | |
| satchalen | I am a genious! | | |
| karmic | They're laughing WITH us!!! | | |
| karmic | My computer can't fly, I know that from experience. | | |
| karmic | "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." -Churchill | | |
| karmic | Look people die and thats their business I just take over from then on. It'd be a bloody stupid world if people got killed without dieing wouldn't it? - Death | | |
| karmic | To spam or not to spam.... That is the question. | | |
| karmic | I tell ye what, Sonny Jim, Ah ate a baby! That's right, a baby! The other, other white meat! Baby, it's what's for dinner.-Fat Bastard, Austin Powers 2 | | |
| karmic | You may laugh in the face of danger, but it will be a cold, nervous, unconvincing little laugh... | | |
| karmic | They'll make bigger boards, with bigger nails. And eventually, they'll make a board with a nail so big it will DESTROY ALL MANKIND! | | |
| karmic | Golly, I'd hate to have a kid like me. | | |
| karmic | The whole day stretches before us with unlimited opportunity! And what better way to appreciate that opportunity than by squandering it watching cartoons all day!-Calvin(Calvin and Hobbes) | | |
| PlanetContra | Kill a few people, they call you a murderer. Kill a million and you're a conqueror. | | |
| Scott | On Error Resume Next | | |
| skwatch | I Never Sleep, Cuz Sleep is the Cousin of Death! (Nas/Illmatic) | | |
| hoo | If you knew you were dying tomarrow would you act this way | | |
| Troy | [Question] How do you know he's a king? [Answer] He ain't got shit all oer 'im. | | |
| Mau'dib | Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one - Albert Einstein | | |
| Mau'dib | Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value - Albert Einstein | | |
| Mau'dib | There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path - Morpheus | | |
| Mau'dib | Search others for their virtues, yourself for your vices - Benjamin Franklin | | |
| MsJ_uk | A blind man riding by on a white horse can see it... | | |
| Mike K. | If you have a thing to sell, and go and whisper in a well, your not so apt to get the dollars as he who climbs a tree and HOLLERS! | | |
| Mike K. | Good enough, isn't. - Mike Keeney | | |
| Mike K. | How do you know when a southern man is about to die? When he says "Hey ya'll, watch this." | | |
| Mike K. | Real men don't tinkle. | | |
| awistaiw | There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't. (See the T-Shirts @ www.thinkgeek.com) | | |
| awistaiw | SELECT * FROM management WHERE clue > 0 (See the T-Shirts @ www.thinkgeek.com) | | |
| costus | "The only rule that's always true is there's an exception to every rule..." -Chris's Law | | |
| vanwinkkk | "To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions." -- Benjamin Franklin | | |
| ckinson | Some days your the Statue, Other days your the Pigeon!! | | |
| tambora | When at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. | | |
| tambora | Always remember to pillage before you burn. | | |
| tambora | It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. | | |
| tambora | "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited, imagination encircles the world"-Albert Einstein | | |
| eztune | You know your idea is a success when it is stolen. | | |
| tambora | Better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln | | |
| tambora | The person who starts by saying "maybe I'm wrong" is often right. | | |
| Dunrobin | If at first you don't succeed, keep on suckin' til ya do suck seed! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! (Curly Howard) | | |
| LordShalimar | You know how stupid the average person is? Well, by definition, half of 'em are stupider than that!!! - Dobbs | | |
| LordShalimar | "Ignorant until proven stupid" -- Seth Hopkinson | | |
| LordShalimar | " Format C: " Just Try it. You'll love it. | | |
| LordShalimar | Who is General Failure and why is he reading my Hard Drive? | | |
| LordShalimar | "Great spirits have always encountered serious opposition from mediocre minds" - Albert Einstein | | |
| tambora | There is no justice. There's just us! | | |
| tambora | He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. | | |
| tambora | When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? | | |
| tambora | If God didn't exist, it would be necessary to create him. | | |
| tambora | Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue. | | |
| Svpernot | "Say hello to mah lil' friend!" - Tony Montana | | |
| Svpernot | "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in!" - Michael Corleone | | |
| Svpernot | "On a scale of one-to-awesome, I'm super-great!" - Strongbad | | |
| Svpernot | "I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman." - Arnold Schwarzenegger | | |
| los | "Just because it's newer, doesn't mean it's better!" | | |
| Rawhide | There are two types of people in this world, and you ain't one of them!! | | |
| Blair | Dimpled balls fly the furtherest. | | |
| Blair | It says something about filling my mouth in with concrete. | | |
| Dunrobin | "One of us is crazy, and it ain't YOU!" (Larry Fine) | | |
| WeirDave | Never do anything yourself that others can do for you. - Agatha Christie (1890 - 1976) | | |
| MrBester | "Profanity is the last resort of inarticulate motherf***ers." - VJ: alt.tasteless | | |
| Muis | "Press any key to continue" Where's the any key? | | |
| tlp | the more you study the more you know, the more you know the more you forget, the more you forget the less you know ... so ... why study??? | | |
| aswanderers | The only easy day was yesterday | | |
| Blair | You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the t |
